Friendship part 2
Cultural variations
Ancient Greece
Friendship was a topic of moral philosophy
greatly discussed by Plato, Aristotle, and Stoics. The topic was less discussed
in the modern era, until the re-emergence of contextualist and feminist
approaches to ethics. In Ancient Greece, openness in friendship was seen as an
enlargement of the self. Aristotle wrote, "The excellent person is related
to his friend in the same way as he is related to himself, since, a friend is
another self; and therefore, just as his own being is choice worthy for him,
the friend's being is choice-worthy for him in the same or a similar way."
In Ancient Greek, the same word was used for "friend" and
"lover".
Central Asia
In Central
Asia, male friendships tend to be reserved
and respectful in nature. They may use nicknames and diminutive forms of their
first names.
In East
Asia male friendships start at a young
age. The respect that friends have in East Asian culture is understood to be
formed from a young age. Different forms of relationships in social media and
online chats are not considered an official friendship in East Asian culture.
Both female and male friendships in East
Asia start at a younger age and grow
stronger through years of schooling and working together. Different people in
East Asian culture have a close, tight knit, group of friends that they call
their “best friends.” In Western Culture, many people refer to multiple people
as their “best friends”, as compared to East Asian culture, where best friends
are the 2-3 people closest to a particular person. Being someone’s best friend
in East Asian culture is considered an honor and privilege. In a Chinese
context, there is a very strong orientation towards maintaining and enhancing
interpersonal relationships. The relationships between friends in East and
Central Asian culture holds a tight bond that is usually never broken until
someone geographically moves to another part of the county or out of the
country.
Germany
Germans typically have relatively few
friends, although their friendships typically last a lifetime, as loyalty is
held in high regard. German friendships provide a substantial amount of
commitment and support. Germans may appear aloof to people from other
countries, as they tend to be cautious and keep their distance when it comes to
developing deeper relationships with new people. They draw a strong distinction
between their few friends and their many associates, co-workers, neighbors, and
others. A relationship's transition from one of associates to one of friends
can take months or years, if it ever happens.
Islamic cultures
In the Middle
East and East Africa men hold hands as a
sign of friendship.
In Islamic cultures, friendship is also
known as companionship or ashab. The concept is taken seriously, and numerous
important attributes of a worthwhile friend have emerged in Islamic media, such
as the notion of a righteous (or saalih) person, who can appropriately
delineate between that which is good and that which is evil. Concordance with
the perspectives and knowledge of others is considered to be important;
forgiveness regarding mistakes and loyalty between friends is emphasized, and a
"love for the sake of Allah" is considered to be a relationship of
the highest significance between two humans.
Middle East
It is believed that in some parts of the
Middle East (or Near East), friendship is more demanding when compared with
other cultures; friends are people who respect each other, regardless of
shortcomings, and will make personal sacrifices in order to assist another
friend, without considering the experience an imposition.
Many Arab people perceive friendship
seriously, and deeply consider personal attributes such as social influence and
the nature of a person's character before engaging in such a relationship.
Russia
Many of the qualities of modern Russia's
culture date back to Soviet times. Scarcity in the Soviet Union led people had to
create relationships with people in certain businesses in order to get the
things they needed, such as a hospital employee to help obtain medical
attention. Such practices led to a community spirit and interpersonal
connections. Many of these practices have continued to the present day.
Inefficiencies on the part of the government, so Russians may find it easier to
rely on their friends and family than on any company or business. These
traditional types of relationships are valued greatly in Russia.
Other conditions in the Soviet period made
it harder for Russians to form relationships. Confiding in another person
opened the risk of being reported to the state, especially for dissent. As in Germany,
people in Soviet communities had very few friends, but the friends they did
have were extremely close. These trends have continued in modern Russia.
The friendship bracelet is an American
example of the exchange of small tokens of friendship.
In the United States, many types of relationships are deemed friendships. From the time
children enter elementary school, many teachers and adults call their peers
"friends" to children, and in most classrooms or social settings,
children are instructed as to how to behave with their friends, and are told
who their friends are. This type of open approach to friendship has led many
Americans, adolescents in particular, to designate a "best friend"
with whom they are especially close. Many psychologists see this term as
dangerous for American children, because it allows for discrimination and cliques,
which can lead to bullying.
For Americans, friends tend to be people
whom they encounter fairly frequently, and that are similar to themselves in
demographics, attitude, and activities. While many other cultures value deep
trust and meaning in their friendships, Americans will use the word
"friend" to describe most people who have such qualities. There is
also a difference in the US between men and women who have friendships with the
same sex. According to research, American men have less deep and meaningful
friendships with other men. In the abstract, many men and women in the United States have similar definitions of intimacy, but women are more likely to
practice intimacy in friendships. Many studies have also found that Americans
eventually lose touch with friends. This can be an unusual occurrence in many
other cultures.
According to a study documented in the June
2006 issue of the American Sociological Review, Americans are thought to be
suffering a loss in the quality and quantity of close friendships since at
least 1985. The study states that one quarter of all Americans have no close
confidants, and that the average total number of confidants per person has
dropped from four to two.
Divorce also contributes to the decline in
friendship among Americans. "In international comparisons, the divorce
rate in the United
States is higher
than that of 34 other countries including the United Kingdom, Canada, New Zealand, and Australia". In divorce, many couples end up losing friends through the
process, as certain friends "side with" one member of the
relationship and lose the other.
The advance of technology has also been
blamed for declining friendships in the United States. Ethan J. Leib, author of the book Friend vs. Friend and law
professor at the University of California-Hastings, suggests that longer hours
of work and a large amount of online communication take away from personal
communication, making it harder to form friendships. New media such as Facebook
and Twitter have also been said to decrease the amount of personal
communication in everyday life, and to make emotional attachments more
difficult.
Types of friendships
Agentic
friendship
In an agentic
friendship, both parties look to each other for help in achieving practical
goals in their personal and professional lives. Agentic friends may help with
completing projects, studying for an exam, or helping move houses. They value
sharing time together, but only when they have time available to help each
other. These relationships typically do not include the sharing of emotions or
personal information.
Best friend (or
close friend)
Best friends
share extremely strong interpersonal ties with each other.
Blood brother or
sister
This term can
either refer to people related by birth or to friends who swear loyalty by
mixing their blood together. The latter usage has been practiced throughout
history, but is rarely continued today due to the dangers of blood-borne
diseases.
Boston marriage
This antiquated
American term was used during the 19th and 20th centuries to denote two women
who lived together in the same household independent of male support. These
relationships were not necessarily sexual. The term was used to quell fears of
lesbians after World War I.
A portmanteau of
bro and romance, a bromance is a close, non-sexual relationship between two or
more men.
Buddy
Sometimes used as
a synonym for friend generally, "buddy" can specifically denote a
friend or partner with whom one engages in a particular activity, such as a
"study buddy."
Casual
relationship or "friends with benefits"
Also referred to
as a "hook-up," this term denotes a sexual or near-sexual
relationship between two people who do not expect or demand to share a formal
romantic relationship.
Communal
friendship
As defined by
Steven McCornack, this is a friendship in which friends gather often to provide
encouragement and emotional support in times of great need. This type of
friendship tends to last only when the involved parties fulfill the
expectations of support.
Comrade
This term denotes
an ally, friend, or colleague, especially in a military or political context.
Comradeship may arise in time of war, or when people have a mutual enemy or
even a common goal, in circumstances where ordinary friendships might not have
formed. In English, the term is associated with the Soviet Union, in which the
Russian equivalent term, tovarishch (Russian: това́рищ), was used as a common
form of address.
Family friend
This term can
denote the friend of a family member or the family member of a friend.
Frenemy
A portmanteau of
the words "friend" and "enemy," the term
"frenemy" refers to either an enemy disguised as a friend (a
proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing) or a person who is both a friend and a
rival. This may take the form of a love–hate relationship. The term was
reportedly coined by a sister of author and journalist Jessica Mitford in 1977
and popularized more than twenty years later on the third season of Sex and the
City. One study by psychologist Julianne Holt-Lunstad found that unpredictable
love–hate relationships can lead to elevations in blood pressure. In a previous
study, the same researcher found that blood pressure is higher around people
for whom one has mixed feelings than it is people whom one clearly dislikes.
Imaginary friend
An imaginary
friend is a non-physical friend, usually of a child. These friends may be human
or animal, such as the human-sized rabbit in the 1950 Jimmy Stewart film
Harvey. Creation of an imaginary friend may be seen as bad behavior or even
taboo, but is most commonly regarded as harmless, typical childhood behavior.
Internet
relationship
An internet
friendship is a form of friendship or romance which takes place exclusively
over the internet. This may evolve into a real-life friendship. Internet
friendships are in similar context to pen pals. People in these friendships may
not use their true identities; parties in an internet relationship may engage
in catfishing.
Mate
Primarily used in
the UK, Ireland, Australia, and New Zealand, "mate" is a friendly
reference a same-sex friend, especially among males. In the UK, as well as
Australia, the term also has been taken up by women. "Bloke" is used
similarly.
Opposite-sex
friendship
Opposite-sex
friendships, which are nonsexual, are not always socially accepted. Although
complications can arise in such relationships, opposite sex friendships can be
strong and emotionally rewarding.
Pen pals are
people who have a relationship primarily through mail correspondence. They may
or may not have met each other in person. This type of correspondence was
encouraged in many elementary school children; it was thought that an outside
source of information or a different person's experience would help the child
become more worldly. In modern times, internet relationships have largely
replaced pen pals, though the practice does continue.
Robert Hicks,
better known as Barbecue Bob (September 11, 1902 – October 21, 1931) was an
early American Piedmont blues musician. His nickname came from the fact that he
was a cook in a barbecue restaurant. One of the two extant photographs of Bob
show him playing his guitar while wearing a full length white apron and cook's
hat.
During his short
career he recorded 68 78-rpm sides. He recorded his first side, "Barbecue
Blues", in March 1927. The record quickly sold 15,000 copies and made him
a best selling artist for Columbia's race series. Despite this initial success,
it was not until his second recording session, in New York during June 1927,
that he firmly established himself on the race market. At this session he
recorded "Mississippi Heavy Water Blues", a song inspired by the
major floods taking place in Mississippi at that time. This song, as well as
his other blues releases, gained considerable popularity, and his records sold
much better than those of other local blues musicians.
