MOUNTIE chapter I

The Mountie Song

The Mountie Song is one the satirical and thoughtful songs of the Canadian folk-rock comedy trio, The Arrogant Worms.

The Arrogant Worms

The Arrogant Worms are a Canadian musical comedy trio that parodies many musical genres. They are well known for their humorous on-stage banter in addition to their music.

History

The Arrogant Worms came together in 1991 to do a few spots on campus radio station CFRC in Kingston, Ontario, and quickly moved to doing spots on CBC Radio One. Since 1992 the troupe has released thirteen CDs. Their most recent album, Hindsight 20/20, is a greatest hits CD spanning their 20 year career and was released in November 2010. The Worms have toured in Canada, the United States, the United Kingdom, and Australia.

Each album consists mostly of independent tracks paying homage, always humorously, to different genres and topics. Two exceptions are the 1997 Live Bait and 2003 Semi-Conducted CDs, which are live albums, comprising collections of their best songs. Semi-Conducted is performed with the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra.

Rock, folk, ballads, country, Celtic folk, and children's music all have been genres parodied by the Worms. When not spoofing a particular style of music, the Worms' material pokes fun at various aspects of daily life in Canada with songs like "Canada's Really Big", "Me Like Hockey", "We are the Beaver", "I Am Not American", and "Proud to Be Canadian".

They have also recorded music videos for three songs: "Big Fat Road Manager", "Carrot Juice Is Murder", and "Sex, Drugs, and RRSPs". The first two of these are included on the Three Worms and an Orchestra DVD.

The Mountie Song Song Lyrics

When I was a kid I wanted to grow up and be cop in a province town or county

 I thought it would be great if someday I could only ever be a mountie

 I wanted to beat up crooks and make arrests because that's part of the profession

 But now I sit on my horse and tell American tourists the Parliament's in session

 I really don't look good in red and my stupid hat flies off my head in every parade

 I'm young and strong and have no fear but now I'm spending my career in motorcades

I wanna enforce the law, I wanna wear normal clothes

 I don't wanna have to smile for diplomats' home videos

 I'm good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard

 Oh no, the RCMP

 Is not the life for me

I used to think that a mountie had to be honest, loyal, humble, strong and thrifty

 But even though we don't break ranks, we get no thanks, they took us off the fifty (dollar bill)

 On Sussex Drive in hallowed halls we act like guards in shopping malls, it's such a pain

 Like someone's plotting the assassination of the Minister of Sports and Recreation, oh that's insane

 Sometimes I just want to puke on Sergeant Preston of the Yukon, Dudley Do-Right's such a jerk (Damn you, Snidely)

 And though he tries with all his heart, my horse couldn't catch a shopping cart, some days I hate to go to work

I wanna enforce the law, I wanna wear normal clothes

 I don't wanna have to smile for diplomats' home videos

 I'm good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard

 Oh no, the RCMP

 Is not the life for me

I wanna enforce the law, I wanna wear normal clothes

 I don't wanna have to smile for diplomats' home videos

 I'm good at working real hard, I should have joined the coast guard

 Oh no, the RCMP

 Is not the life for me

Oh, no, it's not the life for me

 Oh, no, it's not the life for me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me, m-m-me